A Matt & Jules Diagloue
J: "That's mean!"
M: "He did arrange to pay the child support into a trust fund, luv."
J: "He didn't even want to acknowledge the child."
M: "At first, yes, he didn't want to admit paternity. I do watch the Maury shows where women claim there are only two possible fathers for their baby, but the DNA test shows the baby was fathered by a third man."
M: "Luv, he was the one who initiated the paternity test....Don't you folks know how to brew Darjeeling tea properly?"
M: "I noticed."
J: "But he insulted her when he had to be dragged into court."
M: "How did he insult her?"
J: "He didn't want to acknowledge his child."
M: "I explained it a bit earlier. Are you of the opinion that a woman automatically knows who fathered her out of wedlock child?"
J: "If the relationship has been exclusive, yes I do!"
M: "I'm afraid I don't understand women very well as you're confusing me."
J: "Errrrrgh! I don't think I phrased my thoughts right. He insulted her when he implied that she was unfaithful during their relationship."
M: "Ah, yes, well that thought would have a definite impact on her."
J: "That's what I mean! She felt her reputation was damaged."
M: "So she didn't want to accept his child support."
M: (to the waiter) "Um, no. I'll try hazelnut coffee."
J: "No more tea?"
M: "Not until I can find a decent tea shop."
J: "I've been thinking."
M: "That's new."
J: "Seriously! Just give me a listen."
M: "Anything for our embryos. I am the sperm father, you know."
J: "No need to be sarcastic."
M: "Yes, luv."
J: "Seriously, I think she should have accepted the child support."
J: "So she can zing him."
J: (to the waiter; then to Matt) "Another green tea ice cream...See, she needs to get sweet revenge on him."
M: "You women seem to have a need for revenge."
J: "When the situation warrants it."
M: "Then, what's the plan?"
J: "She accepts the child support."
M: "You said that already."
J: "But she's already a wealthy woman."
M: "Luv, you're not making any bloody sense at all. I think the ice cream has gone to your head."
J: "See, she said she realized how expensive the child support bill is for him and that she doesn't want to accept the child support."
M: "Correction. She is refusing the child support."
J: "Which will go into a trust fund for the child because while she can refuse gifts to the child, she can't refuse child support."
M: "Correct. He'll get the accumulated child support funds when he turns 18."
J: "But she can zing him good if she accepts the child support."
M: "Luv, please eat some bread. There's too much sugar in your blood."
J: "No! Seriously! She's wealthy and by accepting the child support funds, she can then donate the child support to a charity for single mothers."
M: "Not a bad idea but aren't child support payments supposed to go for the benefit of the child?"
J: "Yes. They can tell her she can refuse to accept the child support and the funds will go into a trust fund."
M: "So, since she can obviously support the child quite admirably, she can accept the child support, commingle the support money with her own funds, then donate a hundred thousand pounds a year to charity."
J: "To benefit single mothers. In American grocery stores, they sell gift cards, including gift cards for their own grocery stores. Do British grocery stores have the same thing?"
M: "Probably Asda sells gift cards one can use in any of their grocery stores. They're part of Wal-Mart now.
J: "Then the charity could purchase gift cards and distribute them to those single mothers who don't have the benefit of a child support check."
M: "The charity could purchase a host of gift cards...for clothing stores, appliances, toys..."
J: "See? That's the beauty of the plan!"
M: "Sounds a bit devious. Do you think it's legal?"
J: "Since his support money is going into a trust fund, she's paying for the child's expenses out of her own pocket. If she thinks that her son would learn a valuable lesson by donating a hundred thousand pounds a year to charity, that's her right."
M: "You're saying that the law can't specify exactly how to spend the child support, just that the child support needs to be paid."
J: "Well, yeah...That's right."
M: "Sounds like a good plan."
J: "I know."
M: "You do remember that I am the sperm father?"
J: "Of coruse I remember!"
M: "You know also I am the beneficiary of a trust fund my Granda set up."
J: "I didn't know that."
M: "Father gets 75% of the income and I get the rest. Until Father dies, that is, then I come into full ownership."
J: "What's in the trust?"
M: "A few flats in Belgravia. A country house in Surrey. Seventeen thousand shares of IBM."
J: "Seventeen thousand IBM shares?"
M: "Granda bought a large chunk IBM in the 1950's. Stock splits."
J: "Why are you telling me this?"
M: "Did you want me to pay child support?"
J: "We never signed an agreement did we?"
J: "There's such a thing as post-nuptial agreements. Sperm bank donors don't have to pay child support. Surely we could work something out. "
M: "You didn't answer my question."
J: "No. I wouldn't ask that you pay child support. This was my decision. And I'll get a legal document saying so."
M: "What if I want to be a part of the child's life?"
J: "I'd allow that."
M: "But you don't want my child support."
J: "I, uh, I seem to be contradicting myself, aren't I?"
M: "You are. I'm willing to pay child support."
J: "But you already have a trust. Can't you add any kids' names to the trust?"
M: "I'm a beneficiary of the trust. I can't add anyone else to the trust, nor can my father add anyone else to the trust. After my father passes on, then I gain full control of the trust."
J: "So, you'd have to set up a child support trust anyways if I refuse the child support payments."
M: "That seems to be the case, yes."
J: "How about I make the statement that since I asked you to donate the sperm, I don't expect child support but that at your discretion, you'll pay into a trust fund. The embryos haven't been implanted yet."
M: "We're having a circular argument as we have arrived back to the original discussion about child support."
J: "That we have...I, I am at a loss for words."
M: "It's a bit different when it's us...(to the waiter) Check, please."
J: "Tell me. The things I get myself into."
M: (to Jules, then the waiter) "I'm in this too, you know...Keep the change."